So I remember the days of being so tired I could not get out of bed. Recovering from a cesarean birth, emotions, and new to motherhood, had me in the sleep deprived trench. I slept with my baby. He nursed supported by the bobby, as soon as he was done we slept, and slept and slept. The window light seemed distant and it seemed painful to peel my eyes open to morning. I was so happy to keep my baby close, no journey to retrieve him in the middle of the night. We seemed one being for nearly 3 weeks. Which kinda of made sense, he had been born at 37 weeks; early. Pictures of me during this time are anything but dreamy and blissful. I have my eyes closed in many of them, with a loving yet aching smile.