A study in life and death and derma


This was my first experience where I was witness to the mighty tone of a midwife. I have heard some intense instructions before but this was a few page turns of a thick board book in comparison to just a verse.
Birth seconds feel like stretched out minutes and when baby is not in optimal flow..this time passing feels like a pause while holding your breathe while having a galaxy of aliveness and death dance and rush through your veins. The room is primal, thick, humid
911 was summoned.
Commands were given.


Movements in the room are curated, more precise at the same time spontaneous because this is birth.
A flash of fight flight or freeze lights up in my peripheral, a mental rolodex with client intake forms spins,
“In case of an emergency would you like me to keep documenting, stop or trust my judgment.? “
For 8ish years I have been told to trust my judgment. That is a huge risk to take on.
I keep shooting. Rapid fire shots followed by longer than usual pauses to reassess- where do I need to be to do my job but be out of the way of the medical birth team? Is my perceived importance actually valid? Is this next shot crucial to the story?
Just like a balloon releasing, but in the opposite direction- all the air gets let back into the room as baby takes his breaths.
911 walks into a managed and thriving space, they are called off.
Mother has already, seamlessly begun to nurture….
.
The story settles deep into our derma.
.
As the world around brushes at it like dust.
.
But we know.
Birth keepers.
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