As blood pooled up around my shoulders soaking into the gorgeous nursing bra I insisted I wear into surgery; I held her.
I held her so close at the most awkward angle with the blue, tacky, plastic pressure cuff on one bicep- crushing it
And intravenous tubing streaming out of my other hand
I held her. I felt her warmth and my tears burned my cheeks as they traveled and filled up my ears.
I had some fierce mama beast mother hold on her, with one arm- ya know-
That hypothetical scene where if one person had mentioned taking her from me, some grace of gaia would have lunged me from the bed, literally spilling entrails- that were not sutured back into me- the free fist raging…
That didn’t have to happen…it’s just that intense.
Charge nurse, my sister, that day. Happened to be. After we had discussed that I rather not have her be my nurse ( strained dynamics). The hospital was under staffed so she was on the floor. The floor with me. She set my IV, she made everything as non-awkward as possible
AND she gave me the gift that was the catalyst to my career.
My sister asked if I wanted some pictures- fine yes, I said.
She captured that mama beast hold for me, she documented my husband cutting the cord- the photos gave me sight. The photos gave me a story, and gave me healing ( 3 previous cesarean births) and gave me life.
Hello, welcome. I’m Jenna- creator, artist, mother. Birth keeper. And so much more. But thank you for being here. Your story is worthy and I will be your honored witness.
I want to see your lines, the hard and soft. I want to love your skin through my honest photography. I want to savor your baby’s first moments with accurate, artful documentation. I want to show you, your power. Let me share with you my cesarean stories, I hope they warm your belly. Where there is shadow, I will capture it’s richness. Give me light, I will give it back unfiltered. I want your real. I want to be amongst the dust of your life.
I am a mother in Missoula Montana. I have four children. I am a wife. I know clutter & chaos. I know diapers on the back porch. I know golden retriever love, and the endless hair. I know sleepless nights, piled high dishes and breast milk engorgement. I am made of stretch marks and scar tissue. I am shaped by 9 years of breast feeding. I know feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders with a small, perfect babe in my lap. I know deep, loneliness. I know an abundance of joy and pride through motherhood.
My Professional Birth Photographer Affirmation
I am a birth photographer because documenting the transformative in women is priceless, powerful, humbling, validating, and essential to my clientele. It is essential to advocate for women and women’s birth choices. It is essential to uplift women in their birth story. It is a tool for healing and education. It is a way to build a community around women. It is also a private, secret story to relish in the heart and share with the child- the coming earth side.
