Cesarean Mama

I am a cesarean Mama.  I had started my birth mama journey on the path to home birth.  I was not as educated as I should have been about the world of birth, the opinions, the stats.  I was encouraged to change my plan to a hospital birth and I did.  I found a wonderful Midwife at Western Montana Clinic.  I felt that I had a little of both worlds, this made my family happy and me as well.  I ended up on bed rest from week 35 to 37. I was experiencing pre-term labor. At week 37 I was sent home.  Two days later I was back in the throws of pre-term labor and baby was breech.  My midwife suggested and scheduled a cesarean that very morning.  I believe my excitement to meet my baby trumped feelings of disappointment and fear of the cesarean or even questioning the decision.  As soon as I was on the operating table much fear and emotion came rushing to the surface. I remember feeling like I couldn’t breathe, my chest was caving in.  My husband held my hand and described to me a summer camping trip from our past, taking me to a calm place.  My baby boy was born healthy. I was able to see his little strip of face between the baby hat and the blanket.  I kissed him before he left me for 3 hours to recover.  I can describe this life event so swiftly and compact but for those cesarean mamas and all mamas out there you know there is so much more to the story. Details, emotion, loss, sacrifice, endurance, joy. I am a BIRTH WARRIOR!  

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